Lisa Douglass

Click and type in a question or comment

It’s been 50 years since Kinsey.
Forty since the sexual revolution.
Why, then, when it comes to orgasm, do women still come second to men—or not at all?
According to surveys, 75% of men regularly experience orgasm during sex, while only a third of their female partners do.
What explains this orgasm gap? We think it's the way our sexual culture has long defined heterosex according to men's anatomy, experience and pleasure while giving short shrift to the practices that give women satisfaction.
Consider how sex itself is defined: It begins with the man's initial arousal and ends with his climax, with little or no attention to the woman's experience or pleasure. From adolescence, women learn to have sex according to a model that typically includes his, but not necessarily her, orgasm. After years of trial and error, a woman's experience of sex tends to improve as she ages and recognizes the inadequacy of the standard model.
The orgasm gap is a cultural and historical issue, not the fault of men nor the result of any physical or psychological problem of women. After all, most women orgasm easily in solo sex, many are more easily capable than men of multiple orgasms, and women with female partners report higher orgasm rates than even men in straight partner sex. Clearly the problem lies in the way women and men learn to have sex as partners, and in the general neglect of realistic women's pleasure in the media, in sex education and in the broader culture.
It is time to change the sexual culture. Our next book, The Orgasm Gap: Why Women Still Come Second—Or Not at All!, initiates this change by examining sexual inequality, exploring the new science about women's anatomy and physiology, and offering a new view of sex that increases pleasure for women and men alike.